Questionable Costumes
by smilelaughread
Summary: It's Hogsmeade weekend and the Marauders are planning something... 6/50 for OTP Boot Camp it's romance if you squint . Also written for the Mischievous Marauders challenge on HPFC.


Playful - 6/50 for OTP Boot Camp. Also written for the Mischievous Marauders challenge on HPFC, with the prompt "use a tissue in a prank".

The town was utterly ordinary and almost boring in its uniformity to nearby towns. It was a muggle town, however, so that was to be expected. At least Sirius expected it. But, that crisp Saturday morning in early May, when it was _just_ warm enough to be out without personal heating charms, all was _not_ well in the normally quiet place.

On the outskirts of the town, four teenage boys appeared out of thin air, a soft _'pop'_ being the only announcement of their arrival.

One was grinning like a madman – a glint in his eyes that could only mean trouble. The other three simply pulled at their clothing and looked extremely uncomfortable. There was no wind, even on the hill on which they stood. It was good, because none of them looked as though they'd be particularly happy if the wind messed their hair up.

Sirius kicked his feet, ridding them of the tension gained from apparating badly, and looked around to his group of friends. He noticed the pained expressions on each face and frowned. "Come on," he said. "Cheer up. James, this _was_ your idea, you know! You might as well enjoy it."

James shrugged, looking sullen. "Surely you didn't think I meant this," he gestured down at his body. "When I said, 'let's go prank someone', did you?"

Sirius shrugged, moving on. He began the trek down the hill, eyeing the small town in the distance. "It's a Hogsmeade weekend, we deserve some fun."

Peter squeaked, "Fun?"

"Yes, of course. What else would it be?" Sirius looked worriedly at his friend. Then, to Remus and James, he whispered, "He's a bit… touched in the head, isn't he?"

James and Remus both scoffed and said something between them that sounded like, "It's more like you're the mental one."

Sirius ignored them, ideas cropping up in his head by the hundreds. He increased the length and speed of his steps, placing him in front of the others. A smile grew on his face, and he looked down once to make sure everything was in place. Then, he rubbed his hand together gleefully, planning the day out in his head. He'd done his homework, and had a mental list of places he wanted to... _visit_ on this short excursion.

"Er, Padfoot," said Remus once he caught up with the eager boy. "You know we're breaking the rules by apparating out of Hogsmeade, right?"

Sirius shrugged, "Rules don't bother you when we're planning pranks on the Professors or... er, sneaking around. I don't see why this should be a problem. Besides," he waggled his eyebrows at Remus playfully. "I happen to think you look amazing!"

Remus scoffed again, though a blush lit his cheeks, and he trailed back to mutter darkly with James.

They arrived on the main street, and Sirius looked down at his chest, another maniacal grin growing on his face. Peter, beside him, stopped short upon seeing the row of shops, and pulled at his shirt in discomfort.

"Are you sure-"

"Shh!" Sirius said, unappreciative of the interruption.

James and Remus stood on his other side, both looking down at their bodies in dismay. They hadn't thought Padfoot would go through with it – but then, he always did, no matter how idiotic the prank. Frankly, this scored pretty high on the stupidest-things-they'd-done-scale.

They, too, pulled at their shirts, whining in the back of their throats.

"Do we have to?" James, Remus, and Peter said at the same time.

Sirius passed a look over the three of them, nodding. "Yes. It took _forever_ to get you to look this good, we should put it to good use!"

"I was worried you were going to say that," said James moodily, kicking at a loose cobblestone. "Well," he said after a dramatic sigh. "We should just get on with it, then."

Peter made a helpless sort of sound, and the other three turned to see him with his hand halfway down his shirt. The front of it. He was re-arranging something.

"Oh, Wormtail!" Sirius groaned. "We spent _hours_ getting those perfectly even!"

"Sorry," the boy muttered. He gingerly removed his hand, accidentally dislodging the ball of tissue paper found there. "Oh, no!"

James rushed forward with a critical eye. He grabbed the wad and shoved it back in place, giving Peter a second breast once again. Sirius sighed in relief.

"What would I do without my pervy friend Prongs, huh?" Sirius asked, throwing an arm around James' shoulders. He grinned, "It looks perfect. It's almost like Wormy here is really a girl."

"And that's… creepy," Remus piped up.

Sirius pretended he hadn't heard the comment and threw his magically lengthened hair over his shoulder. He then brought a hand up to his face as though he were giggling. "So, do we look… _fabulous?"_

Remus thumped him on the arm, and Sirius dropped the pose. "Shove off," he said, scowling. Then, "Let's go shock and prank some muggles," he said, gleefully.

Remus made one last attempt, "Shouldn't we try to prank them magically?" Remus asked. "We are, after all, Wizards!"

Sirius waved his hand, "Nah, that's too easy. Besides, it breaks some law or another."

James and Remus exchanged a look, and even Peter – usually oblivious to such things – joined in. They collectively rolled their eyes at Sirius, then trailed into a shop behind him. And so, the day started.

* * *

The last shop they visited was the funniest, by far. They all agreed to that later, when they returned to Hogwarts.

It was the end of their trip, and they stepped into the antiques store they'd passed earlier. All feeling more comfortable dressed up as girls – because they'd done it the whole day with only minimal mishaps – they stepped in confidently, and Peter managed _not_ to catch the heel of his shoe on the steps. Huge achievement and improvement.

"Hello, dears," called a woman from the back of the store. Her hair was greying and her movements were stiff. The clothing she wore was also grey and seemed outdated. Sirius cleared his throat.

"Hello," he said back, falsetto voice not quite high enough.

The woman's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She took her glasses – with thick glass lenses – off, cleaned them, and then placed them back on her nose. She looked at them closely, cocked her head, and then gestured behind her.

"I have the clearance section over here," she said, nodding.

James and Peter struggled to contain their giggles, because the woman had bought their disguises! She'd been fooled, tricked, and believed they were girls. How amusing.

And then Remus reminded them that it meant they resembled girls a fair bit, and that it wasn't something to celebrate. They shut up after that.

The four of them made their way around the shop, acting as though they had truly wanted to spend time looking at old muggle artifacts, and then returned to the front desk. The shop was chock-full of old, dusty things. None of them were particularly appealing, except for a cat whose eyes moved. James had thought it was magical, but Remus had - once again - burst his bubble by explaining the simple way muggles made the cat do that.

And then, catastrophe struck.

Sirius, the one who had been the most confident in the silly girl clothing originally, tripped over his own feet, falling down onto the ground. That wouldn't have been such a horrible occurrence… if his skirt hadn't flipped up over his hips, displaying male boxers and something that girls _definitely_ didn't have.

The kind, gullible, old lady rushed forward to help, and then shrieked in shock and disgust when she saw it, and started screaming.

"Out, out! Get out of my shop right this moment!" She said, covering her eyes. One hand was at her eyes, and the other pointed straight to the door. The Marauders only made it out the door before they collapsed into giggles and declared the prank and trip a success.


End file.
